so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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