Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Boobs speak an international language.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
