Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
