I looked at my own cervix.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
