I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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