whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize