New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
