Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
