was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
