I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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