McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
