Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
