I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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