dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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