yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
