I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
i believe in u and ur pee
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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