look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
