i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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