I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Randomize
