So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize