Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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