moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
