opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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