i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Acid is not a monday night drug
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
