my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
