I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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