Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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