guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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