how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
