we have officially lost it.
she was so not down for the gang bang
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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