Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
