you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
