no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I must be too annoying 4 u.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
