they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
