I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
