Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
