Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
