I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
