those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
