I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
