how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
