i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Success! We fucked roommates!
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize