Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
