mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
