Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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