Ambien. No doubt about it.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
