A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize