i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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