Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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