Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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