Sponge bath it is.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
