ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
