I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
