these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
people are starting to question the shark bite story
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
