Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
