sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
