It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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