Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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