I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
