How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
