soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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